Trooper Lane – Simon Warren Cycling Climbs of Yorkshire

• SW Rating: 10/10
• Wheelygood Rating: OMG
• Length: 0.47 miles
• Avg. gradient: 15%
• Category: 4
• Strava Segment: https://www.strava.com/segments/19508001
• Route: https://www.plotaroute.com/route/1059881
• Parking: You’re kidding, right? No? OK, then, if you must. There is scope to park on the side of Bailey Hall Road, along the side of the Nestle factory. How official, or advisable, this actually is I couldn’t say. There is a Pay and Display car park at the North Bridge Leisure Centre, although it is about a mile from the bottom of the climb itself.

There isn’t an easy way to say this, so I’ll be very direct: this is, along with Hardknott Pass, one of the two toughest climbs I have ever attempted in the UK. It might be shorter than Hardknott, not quite as steep as Rosedale Chimney, but, frankly, anything that’s half a mile long with 30% cobbled sections deserves real respect. Once you get there.

Thing is, this particular monster is nestled away quietly in a corner near the Nestle factory in Halifax. Best not stock up on too many chocolates, though, otherwise you’ll see them again on the way up. In a manner completely different to many adult performers, there is a choice of entry directions: uphill, or downhill. I chose downhill for the video, because it was compatible with my route for the day. Uphill is slightly worse: there is 150m of additional cobbles at about 14% before you even get to the junction for Trooper Lane. Having tried it in the past, I can’t say I’d recommend it, but, hey, if that’s your thing then knock yourselves out.

The start of Trooper Lane itself is a horrible left hand turn where the inside is some stupid gradient. If you’re familiar with Rosedale Chimney, then it’s very similar to the left hand hairpin just before The Steep Bit. On Trooper Lane the gradient relents instead, assuming you can deal with 10-12% as ‘relented’. Once round the corner, it’s not so bad. Make the most of it. It ramps up gently again around another couple of corners and you’ll be wondering what all the fuss was about. That’s exactly how I felt the first time I attempted this climb. I was nicely at the point of wondering just why it warranted 10/10 on the Simon Warren scale when…

…I saw the cobbles.

OK, you’ll think, it’s steep, but it’s OK. Shibden Wall is worse. And it is. To start with. The thing with Trooper Lane is that once you’ve got into the rhythm of bouncing over the cobbles up the first, straight, 20+%, pitch, you’ll head around a corner and it gets steeper. Just another few percent, or so. But it’s enough.

Fight your way up the next ramp and it will relent a bit¹ and you can recover for, ooh, all of 5m.

Then it kicks up again. To 30%.

It’s an exercise in willpower now as much as anything else. The road kinks slightly around to the left, but it keeps on going up at a stupid gradient. If you need a break, then you can cheat a bit by diving into the road on the left before rejoining the main climb. There’s another YouTube video where this happens and although, normally, I’d consider scorn at such behaviour, I completely understand it here. I kept going straight up, mainly because I’m a stubborn git, but also because I know that if I ease it off then the rest of the ascent would actually be worse for the rest as I’d struggle to really get back into it again. It does drop below 20% somewhere around here, but I’ve no idea where. On the video I was in reasonable control all the way up, but the first time I came up here it was about this point where I just wanted to get off and walk the rest of it. Again, I’m a stubborn git at times and I didn’t, but, boy, was it a close call and it is for this reason that Trooper Lane gets and OMG rating rather than ‘just’ Hard.

You’re not far away now although it really doesn’t feel like it. The road bears left and rears up again, but know that it’s the last ‘hurrah’ before the top. Keep looking forward with your eyes on the prize and understand that, if you’re still riding here, you can and will make it to the top. The housing estate represents salvation from all that is steep and you will be most glad when the cobbles end and the tarmac begins for it is here that you can let it be known that you bested Trooper Lane. Magnificent!

If there are any other road climbs you’d like me to take on, the more ridiculous the better, then please send me a message on my FaceBook page https://www.facebook.com/wheelygoodcycling/ or email me on wheelygoodmail@gmail.com and let me know…

Trooper Lane - Simon Warren Cycling Climbs of Yorkshire

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1. it’s still 15%!